


Warning: your snake may be inordinately fond of the Speaker you have a crush on (don't be jealous and enjoy the results)

by Sapphyre402



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Draco Malfoy Has a Crush on Harry Potter, Getting Together, Harry Potter Has a Pet Snake, M/M, Parseltongue, Well it's Draco's but try telling the snake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:54:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28756209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sapphyre402/pseuds/Sapphyre402
Summary: Draco's father gets him a snake for Yule. Draco goes to Harry to know what he's saying.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 41
Kudos: 375





	Warning: your snake may be inordinately fond of the Speaker you have a crush on (don't be jealous and enjoy the results)

**Author's Note:**

> So! I saw a fb post today and I had to write a one-shot for it xD  
> https://www.facebook.com/339746489929146/photos/a.346371725933289/527535887816871/  
> It's set in their 8th year, after the war, but that’s not too important.  
> Let me know what you think ^^

Harry had stayed at Hogwarts over Yule break. As usual. 

He was happy to see Ron and Hermione again after two weeks, of course; but he had had a reason to decline the invitation to join them at their parents’. The Grangers or the Weasleys would have been wonderful to him, but a calm, quiet Hogwarts had a certain charm. Going from a near-empty castle to the insanity of hundreds of Wix kids stuck together always required a bit of an adjustment period, and sometimes he thought that the holiday respite was too short.

One of the many reasons for that appeared in front of the doors of the Great Hall just as Harry, Ron and Hermione made their way in.

“Urgh, can’t believe they allowed him to bring that thing to Hogwarts.”

“Mh?”

“Yeah, you didn’t hear? It was all over the Express…” Ron flushed sheepishly when he realised the error in his thought process. 

Hermione directed a judgemental look at her boyfriend, but let go of the latest blunder to comment on the flouting of Hogwarts rules, 

“Can you really talk, Ron? You had a rat, your brothers’ friend a tarantula and everyone knew about O'Connell's bunny.”

“Bah-“ Harry got distracted at that point because they had gotten close enough to Malfoy’s group that his snake’s hissing started to become intelligible. 

The blond was surrounded by quite a few underclassmen who wouldn’t have dared approach him before Yule break, but, apparently, a real snake was all it took for young Slytherins to get over their inbred caution.

Neither Malfoy nor his snake seemed at all bothered by the attention, both preening like peacocks in front of the enthralled audience. Harry huffed a laugh at the sight.

That was enough for Malfoy to raise his head and find him in the crowd in less than a second,

“Potter!”

Harry raised an eyebrow, willing to see if this was the time they broke their truce. 

But the other man only walked towards him in silence, parting his adoring public like the red sea. There wasn’t even a grimace on his fine features, what an accomplishment.

“Now don’t go getting a big head, it’s clear to anyone with sense that in normal circumstances I would rather jump off the Astronomy Tower than talk to you,” here Ron muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “I wish” but Malfoy went on like the redhead didn’t exist, “but father got me Angitus for Yule, he’s the very example of a healthy garter snake, of course, and I think he’s been trying to tell me something.” Malfoy lifted the little green snake higher, almost  _ presenting  _ it to Harry, like the Gryffindor could have missed it. Regardless of Malfoy’s rather pompous presentation, it  _ was  _ a pretty snake, small and striped green and black, but Harry only stared unimpressed, 

“So?” 

Malfoy’s eyes widened in affront,

“So tell me what he’s saying!”

The little snake scented the air with his forked tongue and uncoiled from around Malfoy’s hands enough to glance up at Harry,

“ _ He always talks about you _ .”

“ _ That… doesn’t surprise me actually _ .”

“Well, what is he saying?”

“He says hi.”

“And what did  _ you _ say?”

“I said hi back, Malfoy. I can be polite.” The Slytherin rolled his eyes and stalked off in a huff, but Harry had a feeling it wouldn’t be last he’d see of... Angitus. 

  
  


In the following weeks, the snake kept hissing at Harry. 

It happened every time he and Malfoy passed each other in the corridors, in the Great Hall, and during every class they had together. Sometimes it was about things that interested a snake, like “ _ My human fed me the juiciest mouse today _ ” or “ _ I’ve found many ways out of the stone nest, but my human doesn’t like when I’m not by his side when the sun is up _ ”, and on a particularly cold morning “ _ Speaker! Speaker, I’ll die! Tell the human to make it  _ **_warmer_ ** _! _ ”, which caused Harry to laugh out loud right as McGonagall asked them to hand in their homework at the start of their lesson. 

She wasn’t impressed. 

But he did end up reminding Malfoy to brush up on the warming charms so all was well.

Even factoring in that embarrassment, those were far from the worst things he had to hear from the snake. Way more often, Harry was forced to listen, and try to maintain a calm façade, while the shameless reptile said things like, 

“ _ My human talked about you again _ ”, 

“ _ He talked about you while he sssslept _ ”,

“ _ I think the human wants to mate _ !”, which made him laugh but also pink up in a way that caused Ron to give him weird looks for the rest of the day. And finally,

“ _ I heard my human’s nest mates say that he’s ssssuper gay for you _ ”. 

Harry choked on air when he heard that one, almost tripping on himself. He had to assure his best friends that he was fine several times, but the brief commotion caught Malfoy’s attention. 

The blond frowned at the hold-up in the corridor and snapped off a snarky, 

“Well, Potter, the Dark Lord should have just put you at the top of the stairs and let your awful coordination do the work, I see.” to which Ron replied with a drawn wand.

Harry didn’t even have to look Malfoy in the eyes to know that the Slytherin already regretted it, but old habits were hard to break. 

He forcibly lowered Ron’s wand arm, only answering with a light-hearted, 

“Let’s be glad he didn’t.” and a wink in the other man’s direction.

  
  


When the first Quidditch match after the holidays was announced, everyone’s attention was more occupied by sport than school. Angitus’s comments reflected that shift. 

When he hissed, “ _ The human is worried because he says you fly better than him, Speaker _ .”, as Harry was entering the Great Hall, the man couldn’t help but smirk, slow and wide. 

He turned and walked towards Malfoy instead of continuing to his House table. When he was close enough to have all of the Slytherin’s attention, he hissed, making the snake wiggle from his perch around Malfoy’s shoulders.

“W-what do you want, Potter?”

“ _ He’s worried _ ?”

“ _ Oooh, he is, Speaker, and he still talks about you _ .”

Harry took his time, checking out Malfoy as blatantly as he could, dragging his eyes from the expensive boots to his blond hair, happy if he could make him sweat,

“I thought so.” 

Then he made to leave, taking a half-step back. The blond followed after him like he couldn’t help himself, biting out,

“What did you think?”, but Harry hadn’t backed off as much as Malfoy thought he would and took shameless advantage of the fact. He grabbed the Slytherin-crested robes and brought their faces closer than they had been in recent memory.

“That you should stop moaning my name in your dreams and start doing it on my sheets,  _ Draco _ .” 

**Author's Note:**

> I chose the name Angitus because of the Marsian goddess Angitia (Ancient Rome), her name derives from the word for "serpent," and she was associated with witches, snakes, snake-charmers and healing.


End file.
